Inspiration...

There's no better feeling in the world than to be inspired. That's why I love music. Music inspires us to do so many things. It inspires us to feel, to run, to dance, to cry, to love, to hate, to create, and even to destroy. That's why I love music--it inspires me.

I can honestly say I have never wanted to do anything more than I have wanted to be a musician. Maybe that is a good thing, and maybe it is not a good thing. I'm not sure that I care, though. I remember being seven years old; I wanted to be the next Garth Brooks. I remember standing in the Medina Music Store when I was thirteen years old, and my dad and I picked out my first guitar. It was a marble red Fender Strat designed in the style of 80's guitars. It had a green dragon hand painted on it by the original owner. It now resides in my mother's closet--a future memoir to what started it all. I can see myself playing drums and guitar in my basement in Ohio--four eighth graders making all kinds of racket. I remember singing in front of an audience the first time--"Ain't Goin' Down 'Til the Sun Comes Up." I remember playing drums with my band in the Elmwood talent show--"For Whom the Bell Tolls." There was recording my first EP in the ninth grade. There was a slew of bands in high school--Sworn Genocide, Epic D, Binge & Purge, the Villanova Junction, ReJoyce, Cancelled Debt, and James Miller & the Fat Kids. There was playing Paul Simon's "You Can Call Me Al" at my senior year talent show. There were the solo coffee shop gigs at Kennedy. There was a brief stint as the lead guitarist of Iris Road. There was sitting in Ben Goertz's dorm room creating a lo-fi EP of James Miller solo songs. There was finally joining forces with Adam & Steve to play coffee shops. There was Josh Hunt and me playing shows with Adam & Steve. There was Consider the Odds--which became Famous in May. There was the scary thoughts of dropping out of school and moving to Nashville with Adam. There was the painful realization that we were too scared to do that. There was sleepless nights thinking about whether or not to ask Stephen to leave the band. There was the smile on my face and the hairs standing on the back of my neck last Saturday. It was the first time I'd played in a room with Bailey, Mace, and Adam since May. It was the first time we had ever practiced with Tyler. There I am.

I realize that my life has been filled with music since I was a kid. I've been playing since I was thirteen. It didn't matter what instrument. My first band needed a drummer--I bought a kit and starting crackin' the skins. Later on, some guys needed a bassist--I bought a bass and a bass rig. Finally, someone needed a guitarist. I decided I'd never be anything other than a guitarist again. I love music. I always have loved music. I always will love music. If I ever make it, I'll know I earned it. I've cried enough tears, broken enough strings, thrown away enough scraps of paper, popped enough blisters, and developed enough callouses on fingers. I'll have earned it.

What makes me write this? Inspiration. The music that has inspired me lately. I just bought Plans by Death Cab for Cutie. The first time I heard "Brother on a Hotel Bed," I nearly cried. When I watched the band interview with that song in the background, I knew I wanted to be like that. I wanted to make music for the fact that I love music. I knew I wanted to make music by my own rules. I remember being in Baltimore last May. I first heard Coldplay play "Fix You" at that HFStival. Every hair on my body stood at attention--I had braved a lightning storm for this moment. Again, I almost cried. I almost cried once again when I heard it the second time--sitting on a street corner in Istanbul listening to a pair of headphones. I love when music inspires music.

You may never listen to me play. You may never care about my band. It doesn't matter. Somebody will. Someday, another kid from another generation is going to buy my CD. He's going to hear my song for the first time, and he'll almost cry--his neck hair will raise. He'll hear my talk about why it is that I love music. He'll say, "I want to be like that. I want to make music for the fact that I love music. I know I want to make music by own rules."